my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
