yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
