Buhtt sex?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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