I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
