you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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