mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
