We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
