How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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