I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
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My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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