see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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