dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
