so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
my shit smells like andre
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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