So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
