Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
