Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
