Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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