...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
