I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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