Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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