is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
