What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize