brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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