I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's blow job season.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
