He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
