You just made me feel so damn special
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
