Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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