It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
