you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
