I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
