It's like God shit irony all over that family
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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