Im at strip club and am horny
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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