You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
