I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
