My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
