i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I wear drunk well.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
