I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think I just shit out all my problems.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize