hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
