Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
