I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
