Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
