CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize