"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
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I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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