This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
That accounts for only three of the penises
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize