Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize