he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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