What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
