Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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