i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
