Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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