With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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