Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
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How early is too early to study with margaritas?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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