Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
