Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
