So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
