i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
