Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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